The practicality of sexual morality

I know that including the word "practicality" in a post about sexual purity is somewhat ironic.  Waiting until marriage to have sex can feel like anything but practical from the point of view of a young and single person.  So when I talk about the practicality of sexual morality, I am not referring to the ease of demonstrating this virtue, but rather the broad and important impacts that it has on society.

First things first, what exactly is meant by sexual morality?  As CS Lewis puts it in his book Mere Christianity:

"There is no getting away from it: the Christian rule is, 'Either marriage, with complete faithfulness to your partner, or else total abstinence.'"


A 2002 survey found that about 95% of people in America had premarital sex.  Interestingly, 73% of Americans identify as Christians.  Clearly, there is an apparent contradiction here.  I believe that part of the underlying problem here is that for too long, many churches have painted sexual morality as a purely spiritual matter.  This is a problem because it creates the illusion that waiting until marriage does not have any actual benefits besides promoting your own spiritual well-being.  This will not be a convincing enough reason for most young people to endure sexual repression for years on end.

In this post, I argue that the Christian call to sexual morality was not solely due to spiritual well-being, but equally motivated by Christ's call to love others and to combat suffering.  To illustrate my point, I will briefly summarize all of the changes that would occur if everyone only pursued sex in the context of a loving marriage.  Please keep in mind that I am NOT saying that we will ever live in a world where everyone actually does this, I know that is impossible.  I am just giving the reasons why sexual morality is a loving thing for people to strive for, as it would greatly reduce human suffering and misery.

1) No more unwanted children - If everyone waited until they were in a loving and stable marriage to have sex and have children, there would not be any unwanted children.  This would completely eliminate abortions, kids living in foster homes, and children living with parents who don't really want them.  I don't have to explain any further how this would significantly reduce the amount of suffering and problems in the world.

2) No more children born out of wedlock - For the first time in American history, more than half of all births are out of wedlock.  This means that it you were to go into a maternity ward and point to a newborn baby at random, there are better odds that this baby does not have a married mother and father.  As the husband of an elementary school teacher, I can personally attest that children that don't have the stability of married parents have more emotional issues, lower self-esteem, and poorer academic performance compared to children in traditional family units.  Obviously children would not be born out of wedlock if there was no sex out of wedlock, solving this problem that is crippling the education system and America's social stability.

3) No more prostitution, sex trafficking, and pornography - There are untold millions of people who are currently in sex trafficking and prostitution, many of them children.  What is driving the demand for all of these industries is the immense market for sexual gratification and exploitation outside of the context of marriage.

4) No more STDs and AIDs - At least 30 million people currently are infected with HIV.  Roughly 1 in 3 adults in America have an STD and shockingly 1 in 4 teenagers.  Many high schools and even middle schools are reporting large outbreaks of herpes and gonorrhea amongst the children.  It is impossible to obtain or spread an STD if people waited until marriage to have sex, this is the best and only surefire way to prevent STDs and their vicious spread.

In conclusion, try to imagine a world that had no abortions, foster homes, kids born out of wedlock, prostitution, sex trafficking, pornography, or STDs.  All of these are impossible when the only context for sex is marriage.  The difference this would make in people's overall quality of lives is so large as to stagger the imagination.  I would even go so far as to say that this would completely remove at least one half of all human suffering and poverty on the globe.  This is why I argue that sexual morality is far more than just an emotional or spiritual good (although it is that too).  Everyone who strives to live by it will do their part to love their neighbor and eradicate human suffering.  We cannot force others to follow sexual morality, but the responsibility is on each of us to live it out in our own lives and to encourage it in our communities.